Golden Spy
by smartfan
Summary: When the world's greatest spy meets the world's wost.  Please R
1. Chapter 1

**The following was based upon the characters created by Mel Brooks and Buck Henry in the award-winning show: Get Smart. Please read and enjoy!**

Max slumped in his chair, feeling the knot in his stomach form in such a manner that it tugged him further and further into the ground. It was if there was a whole that suddenly collapsed and all of his organs, most importantly his heart, had fallen through. For a moment, he could not feel the familiar beat in his chest and everything outside went deafeningly quiet. His ears burned, irritated by the sudden silence that had insued due to the initial emotional shock. Then, the first familiar sound to come rushing back was the sound of his eratic beat, as if Max's heart were screaming to come out. Sweat filmed on his face and the color drained.

"What? No, th-that can't be-Chief are you sure?"

The Chief sat back in his chair, nearly as distraught as his faithful employee and friend. With a dry throat, he croaked, "I'm afraid so, Max."

"But, Chief-there has-there has-" Tears began to weld up at the brim of his eyelids and he suddenly found it difficult to even breath, thanks to the enourmous clot dropping in his throat. Max lurched forward and shielded his face with his hands, attempting to make the awful message somehow disappear. "She can't be-she can't be gone, Chief."

The Cheif leaned forward and, ignoring his emotions almost completely, comforting him with his words. "Max, I realize that this is a difficult message-an impossible one, but unfortunately it has come to pass. However, I need you to pull yourself together as an agent if I am to hand this mission over to you."

Max sat up and wiped his eyes, ashamed at the unusual display of emotion. He rapidly cleared his throat and ignored any ensuing tears that breached their boundaries afterwards. "Well, what more can be done if 99 is dead Chief?"

"Well," the Chief began hesitantly, folding his hands before him on the desk, "we are not completely certain of her status as of yet. However, I felt that you should know the truth-not to have _false_ hope. Despite my initial reaction, I think knowing what I know that you are indeed the man for the job. No one else is as close to 99 as you and your personal involvement may actually be helpful in the situation." Max's eyes averted his, still weapy from the initial statement when he entered the office. "Now this was a deadly assignment, not unlike the usual, but 99 had made contact with me and when the situation became compromised, she gave me her word that she would contact me again within the hour. But, as you are now aware, she hasn't called headquarters in nearly four days."

"Then she could still be alive?"

"That _is_ a possibility," the Chief continued while rising from his chair. He came around the desk and sat on the opposite corner from Max and placed a hand on his shoulder, much as a father would a son. Meanwhile, Max reached up with his forefinger and thumb and wiped both eyes simultaneously. "However, due to the nature of the assignment, it is likely that she is either being held captive or she is...well..."

"What was the assignment she was initially placed on?"

"It appeared that the Russian government had infaltrated the United Embassy with one of their undercover agents from KAOS and that agent was reporting back vital, confidential information that even CONTROL is not to have any documentation on. Now, when we caught wind of that fact, we sent in one of our agents to capture the KAOS man suspected and when he was apprehended, the information that was extracted was quite unappealing."

"What did we discover?"

"Unfortunately, I have no idea. 99 said that she had stumbled upon some information, leathal information..."

"Are you suggesting that she could have been murdered by one of the nations in the United Embassy?"

The Chief simply lowered his head.

"Chief," Max stood up, with his heart palpitating, "that could mean another war if we are to accuse anyone unjustly! Why...this would have to be concealed?"

"Yes, unfortunately, if you go on this mission it will be the deadliest mission I have ever sent you on. As I said before," he stated as he returned to the other side of the desk, "I hesitate to send you out on such a find, but that information could be vital to the government-or detrimental to it. You're one of my best agents-this would be a suicidal mission, Max-you would be in danger every waking moment."

"And...loving it."

"I was afraid you might say that."

"Chief, no one else could fesibly do this-I'm 99's partner and it would be uncooth not to mention unprofessional to have anyone else sent."

"I've arranged for you to have some back-up on this assignment-"

"How, Chief? This is top secret-more than that! Complete confidentiality is necessary!"

"I am well aware of that and that is why I've called upon the best that I could find in the world of espionoge to back you up on this assignment. It took quite a few phone calls and a high dollar amount that CONTROL is nearly unable to afford, but it was necessary."

"Who is my partner?"

"Would you believe, agent 007?"

"007? You mean, James Bond?" Hysterically, Max roared until he looked up and found that the Chief's expression hadn't changed. "Chief, I find that hard to believe."

"Believe it, Max."

"Sean Connery is going to be backing me up?" Max chuckled.

"No, _the_ James Bond. He's an agent actually working for the British MI-6 unit in London, but occassionally, he does contractual work. His identity has been masked by the recent spy-craze and the media has portrayed him in such a way as to mask his actual existence."

"Does he know about that, Chief?"

"Of course. Who do you think instigated all of those fronts?"

Within two days, Max had been placed on a plane and was shipped to London where he was to meet the famous Bond. Although it would have been tempting to spend all of his time contemplating over whether or not the actual Bond was as cunning as the ficticious one had been portrayed, or if he were really the ladies man, Max was distracted by the obvious loss of 99. Every time that it crept up, he felt his heart pound a bit harder as if he had placed it in a tight box and locked it up with a steel clasp. It had only been a few months since 99 had been recruited back to CONTROL after the inital Royal incident, in which she was engaged to the fugitive Victor Royal. The shock of the sudden engagement had been enough to bring his feelings out from hiding and to the forefront of his thoughts. Now that she may be gone again, he wondered if he had lost any chance he may have had to confess his feelings for her.

Did she have any notion of how he felt or had she truly moved on? Sure, he had seen how much 99 cared for him-she was the best partner that he could have asked for. However, with that engagement, he wondered if she had been seeing other potential suitors-men with better credentials than he could ever hope to offer. All he was was a bumbling agent from CONTROL who had the misfortune of being paired with her-of course, the natural bad luck fell upon 99's shoulders rather than his. He had been so grateful to her. Although he could be quick thinking, her calm and resolve had allowed him to rescue her in those moments and many times, she had recued him with her quick wit.

Would he survive without her? Max was certain that he was finished looking for anyone to settle down with. If he couldn't have her, then he was willing to watch be happy with someone else, watch 99 make a life with someone more worthy than himself. But, as for himself, Max would not dream of being with someone else. If she were dead, though-

He peered out the window, attempting to hide his face from any onlooking persons who may detect the presence of emotion falling down his cheeks. Quickly, he dismissed them with a hand, pretending to wipe his face of a pest.


	2. Chapter 2

Once in London, Max searched the airport, looking for the agent that he was to meet. It was now that he wondered what he actually looked like-if he were the dashing man depicted or a simple man who would blend into any crowd. Then, a large finger tapped softly on the shoulder. With a rich British accent, the man he turned to said, "How can find the heart of Britain?"

As he gave the counter-sign, "It lies just over the London Bridge," Max sized the man up. Indeed, he was rather handsome, at least Max assumed-he couldn't truly judge having been a man's man and not one to "swing the other way." The man was in his mid-forties, much like Max, with dark, blue-tinted black hair, deep piercing brown eyes and his skin was slightly tinted from outdoor work. He was about six-feet tall and was dressed comfortably in a black suit with matching tie. In a hushed tone, Max questioned, "007 I pressume?"

"You assume correctly, Mr. Smart. I've heard so much about you-you're rather famous."

"Oh, really? Well, thank you, Mr. Bond-however, with compliments aside, we have a much bigger assignment to attend to."

"Yes, you're Chief of CONTROL mentioned that you were desperate need to locate some confidential information."

"That is part of the issue-it appears that one of our agents-" Max cleared his throat as the image of 99 crept up in his mind, "-one of our agents has gone missing."

"A woman?"

"Does it matter what sex _she_ is?"

With a sly grin, "Typical of an American agent to forget that love and espionoge have no room to play together in a worldly, canniving, cut-throat playground of politics."

"That's rather pressumptious, Mr. Bond," Max stated stiffly.

"But factual-and not ficticious, right?"

"Let's return to the first business about the missing information and then we'll return to the matter of the missing agent. Obviously, we mustn't forget our reason for meeting here."

"We or you?" Bond chuckled childishly.

Max meerly glared and grinded his jawbone. Unfortunately, he found that the next few days could prove to be rather trying. He was annoyed at Bond's arrogance about immediately detecting the love that he held for 99, especially since he himself wasn't even ready to confess it aloud to her-He certainly wasn't going to proclaim his emotions in such a public fashion without first confronting 99.

As he noted his immediate disgust, Max observed as 007 leered at a passing, attractive young woman and how he coyly smiled at the lady as well as winked when his actions were reciprocated. "Yes, _we_," he emphasized.

Bond cleared his throat but offered no apology for his actions. Reaching into his lapel, the agent pulled out a sheet of paper and narrorated as he did so. "It would appear that the KAOS agent in question was relaying information pertaining to a heated debate between the members of the United Embassy." He unfolded the paper and explained in a matter-of-fact tone, "This is one of the messages that was intercepted by MI-6, who happened to have an agent also positioned secretly within the embassy."

"MI-6 was in on this as well?"

"You're surprised that other agencies can be superior to your American make-shift spy organization?"

"No, I'm surprised that another organization had infaltrated the embassy just obtain secret exchanges between old, rusty men who are to given the obligation of upholding peace between non-communist, participating nations," he bantered heatedly, but in a restrained manner.

"How clever and eloquent of you, Mr. Smart," Bond remarked playfully. "But, there's no need for hostility-after all, we are in a public location and it would be rather uncooth for you to get excited in front of so many witnesses."

Max peered up from the paper and bit his lip before deciding to preceed with his reaction. "Well, it's apparent that I don't care much for your arrogant, cocky attitude. However, this is not some playground where you can bully whomever you want and pick a fight with whoever you view as intimidating. This is an adult conversation and it will remain as such or you can take your business else-where, Mr. bond."

"Is that for you to decide, especially when your Chief is much more superior?"

"I'm a top agent of CONTROL and therefore have some say in where our funds are placed. Now, Mr. Bond, if you don't mind, I would like to proceed to the matter at hand."

"The missing girl?" After an exchange of glances, Bond backed down and nodded. "Well, played, Mr. Smart. Well, back to the reference of the note. It says here that German associates had been sent to Russia to assemble, but the reason seems unclear."

"History would tell us that it could be an illegal exchange in which the Germans are attempting to obtain illegal, nuclear weaponry."

"Based upon your World War I history, I would say you would be correct and seeing that they are still sore from the loss of the second war, I would say your assumption is correct."

"Why would Germany be collecting those weapons?"

As 007 folded the exchange and placed it back into his lapel he remarked casually, "That Mr. Smart is what you and I are for. Now, the note made mention of a Sgt. Bierman and a Lt. Schwartz. Based upon what the agent has informed MI-6 of, they are located in Berlin. We'll head to the nearest train and continue from there."


	3. Chapter 3

Silence...the sounds of nothingness and complete quite were what Max wanted to bathe himself in and now that he had it, he was positive that it was the best thing for now. Beforehand, agent 007 couldn't keep his mouth shut. From the time they had boarded and took their cabin, Bond had been pestering, taunting Max about the situation with 99 and he had yet to say anything that could incriminate him in Bond's eyes.

_"She must be something to look at-why don't you describe her to me, and please, leave no detail out. I wouldn't want to have a false mental representation conjured up due to an inaccurate description."_

Max was obviously disgusted, but bit his tongue for the sake of CONTROL. He didn't want the Chief's money to be wasted on such scum as this, especially when he was probably the only agent qualified to assist him with such a mission. Now that they were sitting across from one another, abandoning any sort of communication between them, Max concluded that Bond must have finally gotten the hint.

His gaze wondered across the landscape, although to be honest he didn't notice anything but a green blur from the outdoor plantlife. His thoughts wondered over to 99-it was an impossibility for them not to. Would he be able to put his arms around her to hug her once more? Would he be given grace long enough to express his emotions to the depth they were meant to be? Or, would he find her dead at the hands of the corrupt Embassy?

Unfortunately for him, Max had made an incorrect assumption and it wasn't too long after his mind was placed firmly in his worries that it was yanked back to the train car. "Wondering about the girl? Imagining her again?"

Bond's voice had become like a burning irritation in his eardrums, ringing inceasantly as if it were a blasting boom box, like so many young people had in those days. Slowly, Max turned his head toward Bond and simply glared before responding, knowing now that it was impossible for him to bury his rage any more. "What does it matter what I'm thinking about?"

"Oh really it doesn't matter to me," he responded playfully.

"Really? I wouldn't have guessed!" Max snapped.

"The only reason the information is relevant is because any idiot with eyes can see the misery plastered all over your face for that 'fellow agent,' 'partner' or whatever you decide to call her. And if a complete stranger, such as I, can read your emotion then most certainly a train killer could-an informant for the wrong side. Would you like to fail on her because of that?"

Max swallowed, enraged by Bond's accusations and leaned forward, spewing with a raised voice, "I'll have you know that I am no bumbling idiot! Yes, I have my issues and faults, but I've been in the espionage business for a long time and I think what you're assumptions are faulty! Not one KAOS agent has put a hand on 99 for my sake!"

"You don't think that KAOS would have seen this opportunity to take 99 out as a way to get at you? Most certainly they would know by now that you two are paired up and that the Chief would most certainly sent you after her!"

"That's merely a business transaction, not an emotional one!"

Bond sank back into his chair and commented, "You may convince yourself of that fact, Mr. Smart, but you're not fooling anyone else." He reached into his lapel and grabbed his cigarrettes. As he lit up one, he left the case out and offered one to Max. "I'm not here to make an enemy. I'm simply trying to look out for your best interests."

"How is taunting me going to help me at all?" Max sneered, curling up his upper lip and narrowing his eyes, "Have you any idea how this situation really makes me feel? I could hang my head in my hands and just sob-bawl my eyes out if that would please you!" He held out open hands and then clenched them tightly, "But, I resist every urge to collapse on this train because I'm not here for my own personal interests-I'm not here for patriotism, but to rescue her! If it shows somewhat then you know that my restraint is pulled about as tight as I can bear." He snatched the cigarrette from Bond's hand and reached into a pocket to grab a lighter. Quickly, Max slid back and began to rapidly smoke, exhaling toward the window. A couple of tears crept up, but Max faught hard enough back that they retreated.

However, Bond's trained eyes caught the slight glimmer before it disappeared and he gently commented, "I had someone once."

"A one-nighter doesn't exactly qualify as 'having someone.'"

"No, really." Looking down at the ground, Bond continued solemnly, "She had long blonde hair that tumbled down to the small of her back. Her lips were full and shaded like a coral red. Her eyes twinkled like the ocean does at sunset." With a slight grin he remarked, "I met her working on an assignment in Ireland and before to long, I realized that I had more than an attraction to her. She saved my life and...and I never told her, never said how I felt." He gazed up at the now interested Max and stated, "I didn't want to endanger her-that's what I told myself. However, we were on our way back to London when we were hijacked. Although I got away, she got shot. She died instantly." He took a drag off of the cigarrett and with a somewhat cracking voice he finished, "You have someone-you seem legitamently in love with her and what a shame it would be if you never got the chance to show it, because you revealed yourself to the ones who could take _that_ chance from you."

Again everything fell silent, but it was in that moment that the real Bond had been revealed, not as a cold-hearted ladies man as he wanted every to be convinced of, but a genuine human-being.

In Berlin, the men headed straight for Sg. Bierman's station just outside the city. There, they found that the grounds were heavily guarded with a large artillary. It was then that Max pulled out a kit that was full of tranquilizer weaponry. Bond, being the expert marksmen, was the one to bag two unsuspecting soldiers. Quickly, the men were robbed of their uniforms and they tied them up securely, threw them in a secluded van, and headed into the grounds.

With ease the men were able to infaltrate the premises and Max inquired, "Is Swartz supposed to meet Bierman here?"

"According to the last transaction from the MI-6 agent I spoke to. He said that they were going to have a meeting in some large auditorium."

"Then it would be best to find the control panel where we can look overhead and listen without becoming suspicious."

"Right."

Once they located the tower to the auditorium, Max and agent 007 knocked out two additional soldiers and hid them temporarily so that they could climb up. Once inside, 007 shot the guard and Max took out the man behind the auditory equipment. Each man pulled up a chair and began to work the panel so that no feedback could be taken from their station. Max applified the microphones as loud as possible and attached a recorder that he had pulled from his lapel.

"Is there a tape in that thing?" Bond whispered.

Max snapped his fingers and as he placed one inside he said, "Thanks for reminding me."

Down on the stage was set up a long, five foot table in which there were several other suited men surrounding the decorated Sgt. Bierman and Lt. Swartz. "Do you recognize any of the other men, Bond?"

"Yes! The man with the mustache and red tie, standing next to Sgt. Bierman is the agent sent in from MI-6 and the two men at the opposite side are the representatives to France and Britain."

"And the man sitting in the middle?"

"That guy I don't know."

Suddenly, the man in the middle banged a gavel onto the table and the irrelevant conversations ceased. Immediately, the men sat down and resumed their positions on the table while other men entered from a few unseen entrances. "My goodness, the entire Embassy is meeting here?"

"There's one missing member, however. A chair is not filled next to the France representative," Max remarked.

"Ladies and gentlemen. I would like to thank you in advance for choosing to cooperate with our operation," the Russian man in the middle greeted in a thick accent.

"Let's cut to the chase, Mr. Vorcheck. I would like to get home to my family soon," Sgt. Bierman barked as the other members chuckled.

"Alright. Obviously, our recent decision to assemble a mass amount of arms against the Americans has led us to meet in secret. We wouldn't want any unnecessary media attention to spill the beans, as they would say."

"Where will we hide the bombs?" the France representative inquired.

"Well, it would be best hidden in an alli's country war-base, considering that that would be the last place they would look."

"Then France it is!"

"No real American would be convinced that you wouldn't flip flop," the British representative barked. "We'll hide the bombs under the palace in Scottland yard. They would never suspect it to be hidden there," he sneered.

"Done!" concluded the Russian. "And your payments will be made available through KAOS, and the money is pre-laundered so that you won't have to worry about explaining any 'dirty money' to your governments...of course, we will have to keep _this_ secret from them as well."

"And our countries will be safe?" an African man inquired.

"Precisely. Sgt. Bierman and Lt. Swartz made that very clear. So long as KAOS is allowed to run freely in your lands to conduct business as usual, no harm shall be done. And, your personal benefits will be kept under 'lock and key.'"

"Blast!" Bond grunted. "They've bought out every country so that they can do whatever they please!"

"Not to mention they didn't include America-our patriotism would have never allowed us to negotiate with terrorists!"

Sgt. Bierman cleared his throat as the other members began to converse with one another and snatched their attention one last time. "What shall we do with the American girl?"

A river of peace ran over Max's entire being. "She's still alive...there's something that still can be done." Bond exchanged a joyous glance with Max before their attention was grabbed by the booming voice of Bond's collegue.

"What has been done to her?" the MI-6 agent asked.

Lt. Swartz pulled out a gun with a silencer and fired directly into the heart. As the agent slumped into the chair, "No one else knew about her, you idiot."

"Blast!" Bond seethed.

The Russian smiled, "What you've done with the other agent is quite suitable I think."

"We've got to get to 99!" Max exclaimed.

"Where would she be hidden?"

"She's got to be around the building somewhere. You check in with the Chief and I'll go look for her!" he commanded as he pulled out a gun from his lapel.


	4. Chapter 4

Max came down from the booth with his gun pulled and he could feel the adrenaline racing through his veins. It was as if several race cars were buzzing about the track of his body and the ends of his digits reverberated from their intense passing. He was nearly unable to hold the gun properly and he was relieved when there wasn't anyone to shoot upon sight.

Although what had been discovered was rather disturbing to say the least, Max was more frightened at the idea of what had been done to 99. Although she was alive, there was no telling how many minutes Max really had to locate her.

He treaded lightly down the hall, making sure that his shows would make as little sound as possible as he ran down along the wall. Peering around the corner, he spotted a couple of Russians conversing playfully in their native language. One was pacing with his gun pointed downward and a cigarette in his hand. As he took a drag he laughed, "That girl in there has been sitting for nearly a week and no one's touched her yet?"

"Well there was the usual beatings, but Swartz took a liking to her and he wanted to save any of that sort of play for himself."

"Boy is she in for a surprise!"

"No, you men are!" Max barked, catching them off guard. He shot the man with the cigarette and killed him instantly. However, the other man returned fire, to which Max responded by ducking back around the corner. When the coast was clear, Max came around the corner and fired some of his own shots. Then, suddenly, shots rang out behind him. Surprised by the sudden attack, Max turned to fire, but Bond came out, slamming one accidentally with the metal door and knocking him out. "Oh. Sorry about that, mate."

"No need for an apology," Max remarked. Again, he fired at the man near 99's holding place and made a flesh wound. The man dropped his heavy machine gun and slid down against the wall. As he soothed his wound, Max called back to Bond and asked, "Did you get a hold of the Chief?"

"Not yet. The men in the booth were waking up-apparently the tranquilizers were wearing off. I had to put up a fight with them and I ran out while the other called for back-up."

"Were you able to restrain him?"

"He already made the call by the time I knocked him back out. I'm on my way to a secure location to make the call. You go ahead to 99."

"Right." He ran down the corridor and went up to the heavy metal door. He turned the handle only to find that it was securely locked. "Mind giving me the key, fella?" The Russian cursed bitterly. "Guess I'll have to use brute force then." Max slammed the butt of his gun into the man's head so that he was knocked unconscious. Quickly, he rummaged through his jacket and pulled out his wallet. When he opened it, it was actually a disguise for a lock-picking kit. He removed a long wire that he thought would be suitable for picking this particular lock. Immediately, the door was opened and he found 99 slumped against the wall.

"99?"

There was no response and Max was unable to make out her movements due to the lack of light. Rapidly, he searched for a switch, fumbling his hand against the wall, to find there was none on either side. Again he called out, but again there was silence. _Maybe I was too late_. Rather than to waste any more time, Max crouched onto his hands and knees and began to feel the ground for any flesh that may interrupt the smooth surface that his fingers perceived. He moved into the darkest center of the room where the light had failed to reach from outside, but found nothing. "99?" _Perhaps they were speaking of some other poor soul_, his mind raced.

Suddenly, there was a sound like stampeding cattle and a voice cracking bantering, "Let me go! Let me go!"

"Throw her in there for now. We'll figure out what to do with her as soon as we find the other agents!" the Russian yelled.

A young woman tumbled into the center, bumping to a sudden mound of flesh. She screamed, but was ignored as the men closed the door. "Oh my goodness! A dead body!"

"99? Is that you?"

"Max?"

"Yes! It's me! It's me!" The held onto one another for a long while, surprised to find the other. Max clenched onto her as if he would keep her from ever fleeing from his reach. He didn't want to let go and felt that he may lose control of his emotions. A few tears crossed over his face, but went undetected as 99 broke the embrace.

"I'm so glad that it was you."

"Yes, a dead body would have been rather-disgusting."

"But how?"

"The Chief sent me to come after you when you didn't report back to him. He thought that you may have been-may have been killed."

"I nearly was...the men were about to shoot me in my holding cell when someone came over the intercom and gave an alert over their radio frequency that two enemy agents had infiltrated the camp. Who came with you?"

"I don't know that you would believe me if I said who, so I'll let him introduce himself when we meet back up with him. I've got my lock picking kit, here." Max pulled out a flashlight and shined it near the outline of the door. 99 took the flashlight and held it in the place that he pointed to as he set up a liquid fuse to a bomb kit that he had adhered to the lock. They back away as he lit the fuse and the door blew out toward some unsuspecting guards.

Immediately, 99 and Max ran out and went in search of 007. They went through several corridors and heard several alarms being set off as they searched, but they didn't find him anywhere. "We've got to find him 99."

"Why don't you go ahead while I contact the Chief?"

"007 was supposed-"

"007? Did you say 007?"

"Well-I told you that it would be best if he introduced himself."

Shots fired from around the corner. "Max, we're being shot at!"

"I'm well aware of that, 99!" He threw her into a curve in the wall and shielded her with his body as he fired back at the other agents. The men fell as they were hit.

"86!"

"Bond!"

99 looked up quizzically as Max backed away from her and led them to the middle of the hallway.

"I see you found the girl."

"Yes."

"Are you alright, miss?"

"Yes. Max made sure of that."

"We've got to get out of here before the other guards find us."

"Um...I would agree with Bond on everything except for one point."

"Which point?"

"Well, the other guards have found us." He pointed to the men standing behind them who were aiming their firearms at them. As they turned to the opposing position, the group found that once again there were guards. One voice boomed from behind the first set of guards and immediately the men dropped their weapons to the ground and put their hands up.

"So much for that plan," Bond seethed.

Vorcheck, the Russian that was at the head of the meeting with Embassy came through the middle of the men and directed the second set to encircle the group so that the two groups combined formed an impenetrable semi-circle around the three agents. "How wonderful to see you again, Mr. Bond. Mr. Smart. Although, I would have never expected the two of you to join forces."

"Neither would I," remarked 99.

"I see that Mr. Smart has fallen into our clever trap."

"What are you talking about Vorcheck?"

"Well, you see I knew the Chief would send you after agent 99 as soon as we intercepted her. Rather clever of her to infaltrated the Embassy, taking the place of a KAOS friend of mine. Too bad I was part of KAOS too, huh?"

"You're a monster!"

"Ahh...must we use such name calling?" One soldier stepped forward and knocked 99 unmercifully in the stomach causing her to fall to her knees.

"99!" Max cried.

"Oh, Mr. Smart. Not to fret," Vorcheck continued as two other soldiers came to her side and held her up. "As I implied earlier, she is simply a lure, and now that we have you in our custody, we'll be able to rid the world of the troublesome Maxwell Smart."

"What about the world famous James Bond?" Max offered.

"Max!" Bond retaliated.

"No offense, 007."

"That's a bonus," the Russian chuckled. "However, would you two men like to go first, or shall we go with the American tradition of ladies first?" A gun shoved up into 99's throat to which she cried out fearfully.

"99!"

"That's a useless ploy," Bond stated coldly. Both 99 and Max exchanged glances before turning their attention to 007. "You see, it was rather clever of you to assume there was something going on between Max and 99, when obviously," he remarked while taking Max's hand, "it was a put on to cover his _true_ feelings."

"What?" Max instantly cried out. Then, seeing Bond's plan he suddenly agreed, "Oh yes. James and I have grown quite _fond_ of one another over the past week. I've never felt that way about a man before, but...I suppose there's a first for everything."

"Oh Max, won't you just hold me?"

"I'd rather not," he whispered as the man embraced him lovingly. The guards were distracted by the sudden abnormal display of affection and all cooed.

"Oh be quite you fools! Do you believe that the well-known ladies man of the world is embracing the love of a man?"

"Why do you think he checks out all those girls? It's rather excessive and unnecessary-as if he's _hiding_ something."

"Yes...99 means nothing to Mr. Smart, or, as I like to call him," he said with his eyebrows raised, "Maxy." Bond pushed further in Max's direction until Max was perfectly aligned in front of a guard and as he leaned in for a kiss, Max reached behind him, snatched a gun and turned to Vorcheck. Immediately Bond backed away and threw punches on another unsuspecting guard.

As Bond snatched the man's weapon, Max ordered, "Alright men, drop your weapons!"

"Mr. Smart. Please. These men easily outnumber both you and Mr. Bond."

"Yes, but our guns are aimed at you."

"Alright me, put your weapons down. Let's not tempt these men any longer."

Max unhanded 99 and pulled her back in with the group. "Good thinking 007."

"I'm just glad it's over. No offense, Max."

"Non taken," Max mentioned in the same amount of relief.


	5. Chapter 5

"Well, Max, Vorcheck was taken into custody and the United Embassy was reported to the United Nations for their actions. All the members have been taken into custody as well and the money has been confiscated," the Chief noted proudly as the agents stood before him in his office. "I'm very proud of your work and I am especially grateful to you, Mr. Bond."

"It was a pleasure to work with such intelligible agents. They don't have many quite like that in Britain...especially none as unique as Mr. Smart."

"Thank you, Mr. Bond. Are you headed back to work for MI-6?"

"Not immediately. I think it will take me some time before I can return to active duty. The betrayal of our government really took it's toll on me. Although, I'm sure that I will go back once all this business settles down."

The Chief was sure to pay Mr. Bond the funds that was promised, although after the mission, Bond had been reluctant to receive them. He also made it known to 99 and Max that they were to be granted a two week vacation with pay for their hard work in uncovering the close-call national tragedy.

On that vacation Max made sure to contact 99 and invited her to come over to his place for the evening. The conversation that he had with Bond on the train kept running over in his mind and it was just about time for Max to confess what had been held in for so long. For the duration of the afternoon, Max spent his time cleaning up the apartment so that it would be suitable to receive his guest of honor. He set the table with a white table cloth and placed a batch of fresh red roses that he had picked up earlier that morning in the center. In addition, he maticulously placed candles not only on either side of the center piece on the table but also around the apartment. As the sun fell into the sunset, he dimmed the lights and lit them all.

He tended to some food that he had prepared in the kitchen. The fragrence of chicken floated up from the pan and stirred some of the vegetable platters he had also prepared.

His hands trembled as he set the silverware in each individual position. As soon as he deemed them to be in perfect position, Max went to the record player and put on a record of some soft piano music. Then, he sat and waited for what seemed like an eternity, although it paled in comparison that he had spent trying to find her.

Before he knew it, the knock came softly on the door. He breathed deeply before answering, telling himself that there was nothing to be frightened of. "Hi 99," he said casually as 99 walked in.

"Hi Ma-oh, Max. Your apartment looks darling!"

"Thanks. I spent some time this afternoon fixing it up."

After they ate dinner, at which 99 was also shocked, Max took her hands. "99, there's something I have to really talk to you about."

"Oh, Max, if it's about you and Mr. Bond, I completely understand."

"No-no...I know you know about that, but what Vorcheck mentioned..."

"Oh I know Max and there's no need to explain. He was simply assuming that you had feelings for me based upon the fact that we're partners-"

"-Well, 99-"

"And his assumptions were incorrect. I know that you don't feel that way about me, but that's alright. We're still very good friends. Now, was that all you wanted to talk about?"

Max sat still for a moment, dumbfounded by her proclamations. She really had moved on since the engagement with Royal. However, he found it silly to confess right now. Perhaps it would be better put off for another moment in time, if ever. "Well, 99..." Then he paused and the words that Bond had proclaimed repeated once more. _I never got the chance to tell her_. However, he ignored the advice. "Yes. That's everything."

Yet, after the two weeks were spent and Max and 99 returned back to work, they were assigned to the assignment that would change the course of their lives. They were pushed to the brink of death and it was then that Max could no longer hold in his true feelings. On the stage of a television studio, trapped between to closed doors with KAOS banging on either side, was where Max decided that his feelings must be known and, happily, 99 reciprocated those feelings. And it was all due to the push of not only an extremely dangerous situation, but to the words of the world's golden spy.


End file.
